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Monday, April 30, 2007

Horoscopes for the Day

I decided to make up horoscopes for all the signs - and how they relate to me.

Aries - you are damn sexy, and you know it. *coughSLUTcough*

Taurus - You are stubborn and bullheaded, unless you see things my way, and then you're completely rational and my BFF.

Gemini - Wild and unpredictable, you ARE the bad boy of filing clerks. I'll never tire of your laundry sorting stories.

Cancer - the crab sign fits, but I still want to dribble drawn butter over your flesh.

Leo - let's face it, you're "just a dandy lion..."

Virgo - a virgin? *rolls eyes* is anybody still buying that?

Libra - You want everything in balance. Very Zen of you. But annoying as hell while the rest of us wait for you to place your Starbucks order.

Scorpio - you fluoresce in black light like a gin and tonic. Cool trick. We should go clubbing sometime.

Sagittarius - PSST. Don't tell the others, but you're my favorite sign. It has nothing to do with you really, but I do enjoy all those lovely Christmas prezzies.

Capricorn - You rule the world.

Aquarius - Let's face it, you're a flake. A lovable flake, but a flake non the less. However, you've perfected the phrase "I don't remember," so I see a top government position in your future.

Pisces - Oh dear. Bless your heart.


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