Horoscopes for the Day

I decided to make up horoscopes for all the signs - and how they relate to me. Aries - you are damn sexy, and you know it. *coughSLUTcough* Taurus - You are stubborn and bullheaded, unless you see things my way, and then you're completely rational and my BFF. Gemini - Wild and unpredictable, you ARE the bad boy of filing clerks. I'll never tire of your laundry sorting stories. Cancer - the crab sign fits, but I still want to dribble drawn butter over your flesh. Leo - let's face it, you're "just a dandy lion..." Virgo - a virgin? *rolls eyes* is anybody still buying that? Libra - You want everything in balance. Very Zen of you. But annoying as hell while the rest of us wait for you to place your Starbucks order. Scorpio - you fluoresce in black light like a gin and tonic. Cool trick. We should go clubbing sometime. Sagittarius - PSST. Don't tell the others, but you're my favorite sign. It has nothing to do with you really, but I do enjoy all those lovely Christmas prezzies. Capricorn - You rule the world. Aquarius - Let's face it, you're a flake. A lovable flake, but a flake non the less. However, you've perfected the phrase "I don't remember," so I see a top government position in your future. Pisces - Oh dear. Bless your heart.